I love writing letters. It’s a kind of church for me—a quiet, ceremonial thing I do that connects me back to myself (rather than my circumstances at that moment), and the world. When I write a letter, I wait until I have a stretch of alone time, and I light incense, put on a record, and do my best to share something genuine. It helps me stay in touch with my friends in a way that feels real to me, because I’m not awesome at verbalizing things about myself or my world. I can generally expresses what’s going on in their life in a few sentences, but the thoughts and emotions behind them? I can fill up pages if I want to. It’s always the thoughts, ideas, and emotions people have that are interesting to me. Character > plot. My partner is the only one who has to suffer through my awkward attempts at verbalizing thoughts and feels about my life. Lucky him. In letters, I have time to compose my ideas, space to be whimsical, and the quiet to express existential dread. What fun! 

 

Real mail transforms your mailbox from this thing you collect nonsense from to this magical box where your friends just suddenly appear. In a world full of screens and people who live far away, snail mail gives us a tangible way to connect with friends and family. Here are a few of my favorite ways to make it feel special for me and the person I’m writing.

 

 

 

Art Notecards/Fun Stationery

 

Stationery is a fun way to send cheer through the mail. Many artists sell their prints on notecards. I love this, because it’s an affordable way for me to support an artist while sharing awesome art with my friends. A simple search on Etsy will bring up loads of them, but look inside your own community first. Chances are you know an artist who sells art notecards. They’ll appreciate it, and you’ll help them circulate their art! Here’s a link to my friend Eliza and Jeremy’s art notecards.

 

 

 

 

 

Pens

 

Use a pen you really like! It makes a difference in how you feel about your handwriting, and if you’re using a great pen, your hand stands a better chance of keeping up with your thoughts. Take some time to figure out if you like fine lines, broad strokes, oil-based ink, or liquid-based ink. JetPens has a great assortment of, go figure, pens. They have informative articles and tutorial videos to help you find your way. Here’s a useful article for newbies on picking a pen with the right ink.

 

Fountain pens are a fun way to add prestige to your letter writing experience. A few years ago, I treated myself to a Kaweco Student fountain pen, and that’s been my go-to ever since. I even bought a second one because it comes in several awesome styles, but I totally didn’t need a second one—the first one I bought still works great. I have a black and silver one that reminds me of clarinets and a green and cream one reminds me of retro everything, but they both feel like pure class when I hold them. They’re lightweight, yet substantial, and the nibs are beautiful. Most importantly, they don’t have ink flow issues. Pro tip: don’t store your fountain pen in an upright pen holder—it needs to be stored horizontally with the nib facing up to prevent ink from pooling in the nib and creating a clog. You’ll know your pen is clogged if it isn’t writing and it’s loaded with ink. Sometimes you can get away with taking a warm, damp towel to the nib, but if it keeps happening, then it’s time to clean the nib. You can do this by removing the nib and soaking it in warm water overnight. Before I invested in a quality pen, I thought all fountain pens just clogged after each use. I don’t think I had to soak the nib on this one until I had used it for a year. The standard nibs available on this model range from extra fine to broad. I love big, bold lines, and part of the reason I chose this pen (after doing some research) was because I could upgrade the nib to double broad, which I love. At $55, it’s priced in the mid-range, but nothing about this pen feels cheap. And everything is replaceable, so it should last forever. 

 

 

 

 

 

Wax Seals

 

Wax seals let us pretend we’re escaping the digital age, at least for a moment. While you’re melting wax and pressing it with a brass plate, it’s easy to pretend you’re sending secret letters in an underground spy network, or you know, just letters to your best friend. Wax seals have been used as a signature, to save the cost of an envelope by sealing the pages (mail was once priced by the number of sheets rather than weight), to let the reader know the letter wasn’t tampered with, and they were used by royalty, churches, and guilds as a signature of authenticity in a time when most people were illiterate. But up until the mid-1800s, it was also just how you sealed a letter. Wild, right? Anyway, sending wax seals isn’t all that practical in the summer (or so my friends and I discovered), but if you live somewhere that isn’t hellishly warm all year, there are three solid wax seal seasons! 

 

A couple of tips for creating a seal that’s perfect on the first press:

 

Burn the wax with its wick or a lighter and pool it where you want it—the pool needs to be about the size of the brass plate so the edges aren’t cut off when you press, but it doesn’t need to be perfect. I always run a lighter over the wax puddle on my envelope for a second or two so that it’s nice and malleable again. Obviously, I am super careful when I do this so that the flame never touches the envelope itself, just the wax. I don’t officially recommend doing this, because fire. But, that’s what I do to make sure the wax is ready to be pressed. I then dip the plate of my seal in water or dampen it with a paper towel. You want a little moisture on there to create a barrier between the wax and the plate so that you get a perfect press. If you don’t, there’s a teeny chance it might stick or be less than perfect. Don’t lift it up at all, not even a smidge, just press it firmly, and then lift it straight up. And, voilà. A perfect wax seal that will delight your friends. 

 

Back to Zero is my favorite place to buy seals and wax. They have wax with wicks, which I prefer, and they have a wonderful variety of seals! You can even create your own design! My friend dreamt about this specific seal, so she drew it up and had them turn it into her very own seal—it came out awesome!

 

 

 

Stamps

 

Stamps don’t only have to be this boring currency that you stick on your envelope. In America (and probably everywhere else), you can get fun stamps for the same price as the boring flag stamps you buy at the grocery store. If you pick your stamps up at the post office, you can avoid the minimal shipping fee ($1.50). USPS has really fun stamps on the regular! They even have Ursula K. Leguin stamps right now! Unfortunately they’re not priced for standard mail. Wom wom. 

 

 

 

Return Address Labels

 

Side story (skip to the end for a stamper rec): My partner and I recently moved to a little house in Rhode Island from New York. We are really fortunate to be able to buy a house and just plain lucky to have found a house we could sort of afford in this market right before the interest rates started to rise, or to find a house at all ever. We are uncomfortably aware of our privilege. This is silly, maybe, but I was ridiculously excited to get an address stamper. After many years of living in illegal housing situations that didn’t allow us our own mailbox, privacy, or windows, buying an address stamper meant sooooo much more than being a cute accessory to my letters. It meant that for the first time in my adult life (I’m thirty-nine), I had a place to be, a place my landlord couldn’t raise the rent or sell out from under me. Anyway, getting an address stamper adds flair to your envelopes, and if your handwriting is anything like mine, legibility. I fell in love with this stamper on Etsy, but one of my friends has the cutest address stickers. So, that’s a solid option if you’re not sure when you’re moving next.

 

If this old-school pastime sounds like fun, but you’ve never written a letter, ask your friends if they’d be interested in trying it out. You’d be surprised how excited most people are to get real mail. Worst case, they’re not into it. Best case, you find a new way to communicate with someone you care about. If you can’t find any takers, there are pen pal networking groups online, like PenPal World, Geek Girl Pen Pals, or the Facebook group, Worldwide Snail Mail Pen Pals. Just remember, there are a lot of nutters out there—you need to carefully vet anyone you meet online before you give them any personal information. Giving your address to the wrong person could be extremely dangerous. Be smart, be safe, and happy letter writing!